


Like Real People Do

by justthehiddles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Loki doesn't get it, Trying to impress and failing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 06:32:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17278853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justthehiddles/pseuds/justthehiddles
Summary: Loki has just started dating the reader and he is struggling to express how much he cares about her. So he goes to Thor for help. It does not go well.





	Like Real People Do

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Hozier's Like Real People Do and was for a challenge on Tumblr.

Sunday

“Thor, I need your help,” Loki asked hesitantly. He regretted asking his brother for anything but he was desperate.

Thor looked up from his cup and with his twinkle in his eye smiled.

“Why brother, how desperate you must be to come to me for help.”

Thor rarely gets to throw Loki’s words back in his face, so he relished the moment.

“Brother, I am serious,” Loki pleading, “You are friends with Y/N, am I correct?”

“I am. What does that have to do with you?”

Thor was just taunting his brother now, Y/N had come to him a few days ago and let him know Loki had asked her out. She had wanted to make sure Thor wasn’t going pummel his brother into oblivion. Thor was pleased to see Loki finally making good decisions. But that didn’t mean he was going to let him off easy.

“Well, I have decided to court her, so to speak, and I need to some help,” Loki shifted from side to side, clearly uncomfortable, this was uncharted territory for him.

“I don’t know how to properly express my affections towards her and I was wondering if you offer some insight.”

Thor snickered, “Why don’t just ask Y/N yourself?”

This was just too good. Thor decided to have a bit of fun with his brother. All’s fair.

“That would ruin the element of surprise, brother,” Loki quipped back.

“Fair enough. Well, I she has mentioned to me quite often how much she enjoys cats, perhaps you can get her a kitten?” Thor offered sincerely.

There was a glint in Loki’s eye. As much as he hated to admit it, his brother was on to something. But why just get an ordinary Midgardian kitten, when Y/N was deserving of so much more. He rushed away to begin making plans. Thor was startled by his brother’s abrupt exit.

“Where are you off, brother?” Thor asked after his departing brother.

“To make plans!” Loki bellowed, not even bothering to turn around.

2 Days Earlier- Friday

“Y/N?” a nervous voice came from the doorway.

She recognized the voice of Loki anywhere.

“Yes, Loki, what can I help you out with today?” she turned with a smile.

Loki shifted from foot to foot. He was avoiding eye contact.

“I was wondering if you were available?” he asked.

Y/N looked around the empty clinic where she was standing.

“Well of course. What happens to the be the problem? I thought you were able heal most of your wounds yourself. But I am more than happy help, Hop on up and take off your shirt,” she said patting the exam table beside her.

Her heart started to pound at the thought of seeing the man in any sort of state of undress.

Loki didn’t move but instead shook his head.

“No. No. Sorry, you are mistaken. I am not ill. I meant are you are available to see me outside of the building?”

You couldn’t help but smile. Was he asking her out on a date? The blood started rushing to her ears and she felt her cheeks flushing.

“What exactly are you asking?” she wasn’t going to make it easy. After all, he was a god.

Loki bit his lip. He thought this was going to be easier. He was nicknamed Silver Tongue. But for some reason, words escaped him in Y/N’s presence. It was damn annoying for him.

“I guess…I am asking…you…on a date,” he ended the statement with much more confidence than when he started.

“Well that sounds…nice,” you replied mimicking his tone.

Loki was somewhat shocked. He hadn’t expected her to say yes. Y/N had always been polite and friendly but Loki was not the best at detecting non verbal cues of interest. He hadn’t thought this through beyond the asking.

“Okay…so what would you like to do?”

“Well, how about we have dinner? I can cook it at my place. How about next Thursday? I am working a short shift,” she suggested.

“Sounds great. Fantastic. I will see you then,” he responded quickly and turned to leave.

“Wait!” you yelled as he was nearly out the door.

“What?” he asked confused.

“Don’t you want my address? How else will you get there?”

“Oh right. That would be helpful indeed.”

They quickly exchanged contact information including phone numbers and set a time.

Y/N went back to tidying up the room as Loki exited but snuck a glance of the man as he walked down the hall. She might have caught a glance of a little skip in his step.

Monday

You had hoped to hear from Loki before their date in a few days. But you had not seen or heard from him since that day in the clinic. During your few breaks during the day, you had checked your phone for messages but there were no notifications.

But now the day was done and you longed to take a bath and climb into bed. After juggling your keys, you entered the darkened apartment and flicked the light on. You turned to enter the bathroom and start the water in the tub, when you heard a scratching noise from your bedroom.

I don’t remember shutting my door this morning. you thought. You didn’t have any pets so the noise was disturbing. You picked up the baseball bat you kept by the front door, wondering if it would actually help if an intruder was actually in your room.

Carefully, you opened the door, making sure to jump behind the door. When no one came jumping out you peered into the room. In the darkness, all you saw was a pair of large yellow eyes.

“Fuck!” you whispered.

Perhaps werewolves are real. You thought in a panic. Not knowing what else to do, you reached into the room and flicked the light on while moving into the doorway.

Once the lights came on, you saw a flash of black fur pounce at you and felt something heavy land squarely on your chest. The beast started to lick your face.

Within moments, you came to your senses and realized a large jaguar had you pinned down to the floor and was proceeding to lick the outer layer of skin off your face. And purring. This killer jungle cat was purring like a kitten. A kitten! There was only one explanation for this bizarre situation. Loki.

With much effort, you were finally able to fish your phone out of your bag and dialed the number. He picked up after a single ring.

“Hello,” he answered, blissfully unaware of your predicament.

“Loki,” you said in a terse and heavy breath, “Why in all hell is there a jaguar in my apartment. And why is it purring on my chest?”

Loki answered with pride in his voice, “It is a present for you darling. I heard you like cats.”

“Yeah like small normal household cats, not killer jungle cats!”

Loki was somewhat deflated.

“He won’t kill you. I made certain of that. I thought bigger was always better.”

“No Loki, it is not. Can you do something about this because it is restricting my breathing?”

“Oh course.”

In a moment, there was a flash of light and the god appeared in the room. Another flash and the weight was lifted from your chest. Loki extended his hand to help you up. His face marred with a look of concern.

“I am so sorry. I had no idea. I just wanted to do something nice.”

You smoothed down the front of your scrubs. While you were somewhat angry, his sincerity and apology made that emotion melt away. You managed a small smile and try to cover the tone in your voice.

“It’s fine. But next you want to get me a present, try flowers.”

“Of course. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Loki ran his eyes up and down your body and you suddenly became very self-aware of how the scrubs clung to you after a long shift. You cleared your throat.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

You turned and huffed off towards the kitchen. Loki became worried. Clearly you were not happy and he hoped you weren’t going to cancel on him.

“We are still on for Thursday, right? I’ve already cleared my schedule,” he called after you as he shuffled to catch up with you.

You had reached the bathroom door and you sighed before turning to face him. You gave a small smile and reminded yourself he didn’t mean you harm.

“Yes, we are still on Thursday. It would take more than a jaguar incident to cancel.”

Loki let out a breath, you could see relief wash over his face.

“Thank you.”

You entered the bathroom and started to run a bath. You got ready to undress when you noticed the god still standing awkwardly in the doorway. You cleared your throat to catch his attention.

“What are you still doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well crisis averted. So…I would very much like to take a bath and I am not undressing in front of you.”

Loki smiled at the thought of you stripping in front of him.

“Well that is a shame, darling. I would quite enjoy the show,” he quipped, taking a step forward.

A smile grew across your face. As tempting as his suggestion was, you didn’t want Loki to have the wrong impression.

“I am sure you would but I would rather leave at least a little something to the imagination for OUR. FIRST. DATE,” you stated pointedly.

Loki opened his mouth to say something only to have you shut the door in his face with a smile on you face and locked the door. He knocked on the door.

“See you on Thursday, Loki,” you bellowed over the water.

Not wanting to push his luck, he transported himself back to his room at Avengers Tower, only to find his brother seated on his bed. Thor pushed him up against the wall with a menacing stare.

“Where were you, brother? You know you can’t leave without someone knowing where you are going?” Thor questioned.

Although Tony allowed Loki remain in the Tower, there were a number of conditions placed on his residence. Letting someone know his whereabouts was just one. Loki begrudgingly accepted the arrangement.

“Calm down, brother. It was an urgent matter between myself and Y/N. Nothing serious.”

Loki wanted the conversation to end quickly, not ready to admit his mistake to anyone, least of all his own brother.

“Urgent matter? Is she okay? And why did she call you?” Thor asked his brother, oblivious to his brother’s squirming at the inquisition.

“Well, funny story…I was kind of the one who caused the problem,” Loki chuckled slightly.

Thor’s eyes darkened.

“Loki, what did you do?!” Thor asked sternly.

Loki broke out in a nervous smile.

“Well remember how you said you Y/N liked cats?”

“Yeeesss….”

“Well I thought why just get her a normal kitten when I could get her a big cat?”

“So you got her a full grown adult cat and it torn up the house?” Thor prayed silently he was right.

“More like a full grown jaguar that pounced on her chest, licked her face and made it difficult to breathe,” Loki winced at the inevitable assault.

He was not disappointed. As the conversation had progressed, Thor had gradually loosen his grip on his brother’s body. So hearing of his brother’s actions, he slammed Loki back into the wall.

“Ow.” Loki moaned in mock pain.

“Brother, why on earth did you think a jaguar was a good idea? Someone could have gotten hurt!”

Loki put his arms up and slowly attempted to lower his brother’s arm off his throat. He only managed to get to his chest.

“There was no need to worry, I enchanted the animal to not attack. I had everything under control, brother,” Loki reassured.

“Then why the emergency?”

“I may have failed to warn Y/N of the present. She only discovered it when she opened her bedroom door.”

“That was not wise, brother.”

“I see the error of my plan now. I assure you I won’t make the mistake again.”

With that assurance, Thor released Loki. Although he was upset at Loki, he understood Loki’s intentions were good. In fact, he was somewhat shocked at the grand gesture. Loki must really like you.

“Well as long as you learned your lesson,” Thor started towards the door just as Loki shut the door.

“Of course, brother, the next time will be much better.”

Thor turned to respond and was met with door slammed in his face. He hoped Loki knew what he was doing.

Tuesday

Loki had slept minimally that night, replaying the events of the night over and over. He could see the mistake now, while the element of surprise was admirable, not the best strategy when courting a Midgardian.

Late that morning, he stumbled into kitchen and ran into none other than Tony Stark. Tony’s face matched Loki mood.

“Trickster,” Tony deadpanned, “How was your little excursion last night? Set off all kinds of alarms here. At 11 at night.”

Loki sighed.

“My apologies. I did not mean to cause trouble. And my excursion did not go well at all.”

Tony was startled at Loki’s response. Even though Thor had explained what had happened between Loki and you last night, an apology was unexpected at best.

“Yeah, your brother mentioned what happened between you and Y/N. I didn’t know you fancied her. I have to say you have good choice in women. If I wasn’t with Pepper, Y/N would definitely be on my radar.”

Loki furrowed his brow.

“I’m…flattered?”

Tony didn’t miss a beat.

“You should be. So your romantic gesture backfired? I’m not surprised. Thor doesn’t know anything about women. If you wanted relationship advice, you should have come the man voted “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor” four years in a row.”

“Are you offering advice?” Loki countered incredulously.

“I guess I am,” Tony face softened for a minute. “Reindeer Games.”

And there was the Tony Loki knew.

“But seriously, how can I help. Y/N is a great girl.”

“Well she mentioned last night to try flowers next time,” Loki admitted.

“See there you go! Nice and simple. I know a great florist. Tell them I sent you.”

Tony scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to the god, before taking off down a hallway.

“Oh and Loki,” Tony yelled as he left, “try and not screw it up this time.”

Loki glowered at the man sauntering the hallway. How dare he! I should turn him into something more fitting of his attitude. Like a newt. But Loki controlled his rage and refocused on the scrap of paper in his hand.

“This is much better,” Loki muttered to himself as he headed to his room.

***

You weren’t scheduled to start your shift until about 5 p.m. that night, but you had been called in a few hours early. Specifically, you had been told to stop by the main reception desk before clocking in.

When you arrived, you headed to the desk. Once it came into view, you saw it was was entirely covered with floral arrangements. And by covered, you meant it looked as though a rose garden had exploded.

“Oh no,” you muttered to yourself as you approached the desk, “please tell me he didn’t.”

The lady behind the desk looked unamused.

“Oh good, you’re here. Sign this.”

She shoved a clipboard in you face. You signed it without really reading it.

“Great, now get all these flowers out of here.”

You gestured at the arrangements on the floor and covering just about any flat surfect in a 5 foot radius.

“These are all for me?”

“Yeah, honey and there are about 10 more underneath the desk. Your boyfriend, Loki,” she said looking at the card attached to the largest arrangement, “must really love you.”

You blushed at Loki’s name.

“He is not my boyfriend.”

“Well, if you don’t want him, give his number to me. These flowers had to cost a fortune.”

You did wonder how Loki had managed to afford such an extravagant gesture. You would definitely ask him when you spoke to him next. You left and managed to wrangle a cart so you could move all the flowers away from reception. You made a quick call to the nurses’ station and told them to distribute them throughout the facility, particularly to the elderly.

You finally grabbed the last and largest arrangement and started to carry them to your locker so you can start your shift. It wasn’t until you got into the elevator, you noticed the lilies in the arrangement. You were allergic to lilies. Severely allergic.

You could feel your throat starting to itch as the door closed. By the time you reached the 5th floor, tears were streaming from your eyes and you could barely breathe. You chucked the flowers into the nearest garbage can and rushed to your locker.

In your purse, you grabbed the epipen you keep for these emergencies. Cursing the Asgardian god under your breath as you stabbed the needle into your thigh. You could feel your airways opening slightly but there was no way you were going to be able to do a full shift. You checked in with the shift supervisor to explain the situation and then headed back home.

Once you had gotten into the confines of your apartment you dialed Loki’s number. Two times in one day. Must be some kind of record.

“Hello, darling. Did you enjoy the flowers?” he answered the phone with joy in his voice.

He was clearly proud of himself.

“They were lovely. How did you afford them?”

“Mr. Stark said mention his name. When they offered to put it on his tab, I didn’t correct them,” he explained.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” He asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah about that,” you croaked into the phone, your throat and lungs still rough from the allergic reaction, “One of the arrangements had lilies. I am deathly allergic.”

Loki was crestfallen. His attempt to show his affection had backfired. Again. Perhaps he was cursed to never find love.

“I so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea. You said next to send flowers. I was simply following instructions,” he apologized with genuine worry in his voice.

“It’s not your fault. How could you have know? And I did say flowers. It’s okay. I just need to rest for a bit,” you explained.

Loki’s worry lessen just slightly.

“Is there anything I can do? Perhaps come over and aid you in your healing?”

“No!” you said just a little too quickly.

You winced at your abruptness and continued on, clarifying your statement.

“I mean, I don’t want to bother you or get you in trouble. I’ll probably just take a shower and go to sleep.”

“Another time perhaps.”

“Of course, and we are still on for Thursday dinner, I should be more than recovered,” you added heading off his next question. For a god, he was certainly jumpy.

“I was just about to ask that. Feel better, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Loki,” you responded, smiling into the phone, “And Loki, until then, no more presents. I don’t know if I could survive.”

You heard a small laugh from the other side of the phone.

“I give my word, no more presents.”

And with that you said your goodbyes and ended the call.

Sore and exhausted, you decided to skip the shower and went straight to bed. Your head felt heavy on the soft and cool pillow. Within minutes, you were asleep and you slept throughout the night.

Loki was not so fortunate. For the second night in a row, the god of mischief struggled with sleep. Again, he played the events of the day. Looking for anything sort of clue that could have prevented this mishap. He was at a loss.

Unable to sleep, he left his room and decided to pace the halls, seeking clarity and exhaustion. Caught up in his own thoughts, he didn’t realized he wasn’t alone, until he ran into a very solid figure.

Stumbling on his feet, the blonde Avenger apologized to the god.

“Sorry, Loki. I didn’t see you there,” Steve commented as he reached out to steady Loki.

The Captain was always polite to Loki. And while he knew Steve was hesitant about his presence in the tower but had given Loki the benefit of the doubt. And the god was grateful to the Captain for that.

“My apologies, Captain, I was distracted.”

Steve looked at Loki’s face, trying to get a sense of what may be the Asgardian.

“Anything I can help with?” Steve asked.

“I doubt it, unless you know about gaining the affections of these Midgardian women.”

Steve had to stifle a laugh. He didn’t imagine the dashing Loki haven’t trouble wooing a woman, Midgardian or not. Steve could see the furrowed brow and pursed lips on Loki’s face and sighed before speaking.

“Listen, I am probably the last person to give romantic advice. But what I do know is that the best way to let someone know you care for them is to just tell them. Tell them often. And offer food.”

Steve didn’t know but he would later regret adding that last part.

Loki patted the man on the shoulder.

“I appreciate your advice. Thank you.”

Loki strutted off to go to bed, with his mind set at ease.

Thursday

Wednesday had been blissfully uneventful. Loki had kept true to his word. No gifts, no flowers, and no furry mammals in her bedroom. The staff at the hospital had loved the flowers. All the nurses were dying for Loki’s number. They had offered to take him out the moment you decided to not go out with him. You declined to give out his number. You were surprised at all the attention Loki was receiving.

You had gotten off shift late afternoon and then made a stop at the store to pick up ingredients for tonight’s dinner. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you reached the stairs of your apartment. You were more excited than you had let anyone know.

Calm down! It is just a date. You have done plenty of dates. You lied to yourself.

You barely dated, hell you barely leave the house unless dragged forcibly. Stark Industries paid you enough to quit your job at the hospital. But you just never found the time to put in your notice. You enjoyed being busy and it kept you from having to adjust your non-existent love life.

But then the tall and devastating handsome god of mischief strolled into your clinic and you could not stop yourself from saying yes. You desperately wanted this date to work out.

You hustled up the stairs and opened your front door. You quickly put the groceries away and hopped into the shower. You needed to clean up before Loki got there. Just as you turned the water off, you heard a knocking at the door.

“Shit,” you said as you quickly tried to dry off.

“Just one minute!” you bellowed into the room.

Throwing a robe on, you hustled to the door and opened it.

Loki was shifting from one foot to another, he had step up his outfit from a t-shirt to a black dress shirt. He looked even more handsome.

“Loki,” you mumbled as you stepped aside for him to enter the apartment, “you’re early.”

“Well, I thought I come a little early to see if you needed any help,” he scanned your body, taking note of how your flimsy robe clung to your damp body.

“If I had known it was going to be this casual, I would have dressed down,” he chuckled.

“Very funny,” you retorted, smiling.

Good Lord, he is flirting!

“Just give me a minute and I will get dressed.”

You turned to head to the bedroom.

“Oh, don’t get dressed on my account.”

You turned to see that playful smirk come across his face. You returned with one of your own.

“If I don’t get dressed, what will you have to rip off of my body later.”

You didn’t wait to see his response. Had you lingered, you would have seen his fair skin turn a dark pink, particularly his ears and a fidgeting of his trousers.

You threw on a simple dress and pulled your hair up into a messy bun.

You stepped out of the room and Loki was still standing where you had left him.

“You can sit down, Loki or if you want to be helpful, you can heat a pan on the stove. Just set it to medium. I will be there in a second.”

Loki moved to the kitchen while you went into the bathroom to clean up. You came out and went straight to the kitchen.

Loki had done well. He had placed your skillet on the range and turned the burner on. Without thinking, you reached for your olive oil and started pouring it into the pan.

What you hadn’t noticed is that the pan was smoking. You saw the flash of fire shoot towards the ceiling. Loki panicked and went to get to get water.

“NO!” you screamed but it was too late. He tossed the water onto the flames and you watched the flames grow until they were kissing your ceiling. Thinking fast, you pulled the pan off the flame and threw a lid onto of it.

Although the fire was extinguished, the damage had be done and the sprinklers were activated. Within seconds, both you and Loki were drenched. You grabbed his arm and dragged him to the bedroom where it was dry.

Loki was distressed. He began pacing the floor and running his hands through his hair, alternating between combing and smoothing it out.

“I am sorry, Y/N. It seems I can’t do anything right.”

“It is fine, really, I have been meaning to redecorate.”

You attempted to add humor to the situation. It was lost on Loki.

“You must think me a fool,” Loki continued, “How can you be expected to love me, if every romantic gesture ends in either property damage or a hospital visit.”

Your mouth dropped open and before you knew it, you were laughing. You could not stop yourself. Loki spun around to see you leaning against the wall.

“This is not funny. I am clearly incapable of properly courting a Migardian.”

You tried to catch your breath.

“That is what all of this has been about?” you asked through giggles, “An attempt to impress me?”

“Yes,” Loki sighed, exasperated at the whole situation.

“Well, did you ever think of just telling me?” you raised an eyebrow.

Loki looked at you sheepishly. That was exactly what Captain Rogers had told.

“Well…no…yes…maybe. It may have been mentioned to me,” Loki stumbled over his words.

The Asgardian looked so pitiful, you decided to put him out of his misery. You took the few strides over to him and grabbed his wet lapels and pulled him close. You could feel his breath upon your cheeks.

“There is another way you can show someone you care about them,” you whispered, leaning up towards his ear.

Loki looked down at you, hopeful.

“And how is that, my love?”

“We could just kiss like real people do.”

That is all the invitation Loki needed. He cupped your face in his hands and pulled you into him. His kiss was soft but forceable and for a Frost Giant, heated. You leaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You sighed and he took that opportunity to entreat his tongue into your mouth. You followed suit. His hands moved from your face to your back. He gripped the back of your dress and pulled you into his body.

After what seemed like an eternity but in reality just minutes, the two of you parted. Both you and Loki were breathing heavy and your faces were flushed. Loki was the first to break the silence.

“Well that seems much better than a jaguar.”

You giggled.

“Yes it does. Now sir, I believe I owe you a dinner.”

Loki furrowed his brow at you.

“But how, the kitchen is destroyed.”

“True, but how about some burgers at the pub downstairs?”

Loki grabbed your arm to lead you to the door.

“Wait,” you cried, “Our clothes are completely soaked, not suitable for the public.

Loki smiled.

“Darling, If you can handle the food and gifts in this relationship, I will handle everything else.”

And with a flash of light, both of your clothes were dry in an instant. Loki offered his arm to you and he escorted you to the restaurant.

Some time later, you were retelling this story at your wedding reception with Loki beaming at your side. He could not be more proud of his beautiful bride. And he couldn’t wait to kiss you.

Because that is what real people do.


End file.
